I wish things were different. I wish I was normal. I wish that I didn't have to take mood-stabalizing or anti-psychotic medications. I wish that I had made different choices somewhere at sometime long ago that wouldn't have led me to here. I wish that some people could look past the mistakes and see the good in another person.
I wish I had a bestfriend that lived down the street that I could see all the time and talk to all the time and share my life experiences with. I wish I could commit to something and complete it.
I wish that some of my closest friends weren't users, because even though I know them for the good, supporting friends and people that they are; my friendships with them will always be tainted by the opinions of my family.
I wish that my family could trust me. I wish that my parents could sleep soundly while I'm out, not staying up all night worrying if I'm going to relapse. I wish... I wish I wasn't a recovering addict. I wish that I could control my impulses. I wish that I could take back those actions which brought tears to my brother's eyes. I wish that I could take back so much. So much pain. So much hurt.
I wish that I could forgive myself.