brandon_scott (brandon_scott) wrote,

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A Moment of Weakness

I'll admit it, I'm jealous. I see what Kristi and Marshall have and I want it. Back in California it was Chris and Natania, and before them it was Rodrigo and Tiffany. I yearn for Love with every fiber of my being. Perhaps its just because my life-long Love is 3,000 miles away. Perhaps it's because I feel like chivalry is dying, that there is no place for a hopeless romantic in this day-in-age. It makes me sad, it makes me hopeless: to be without hope. I just don't know anymore. I remember a simpler time when memories were shared over a cup of Chai and a walk in the park.

I have a new interest, her name is Alex. But why do I feel like I am always trying to fill some void. Why can't I be happy with who I have or where I am in life? I have an addictive personality with obsessive compulsive characteristics. If my interest don't obsess over one addiction, they obsess over another. In the absense of Love I focus on school. But why? The piece of paper that I receive is the same as the piece of paper that a 'C' average student receives. I have so much in life, why do I feel like I have so little? Is Love that important? It is to me.

In other news, my last final is tomorrow and I am totally ready for it. I spent the day celebrating the lack of stress by having a quiet day on the beach. I did nothing and it was great. All the go go go and then finally the rest. After tomorrow night I'll be catching up on the rest of life. Mainly phone calls I need to make to those that I've either put off or have been short with in the stress of finals week. If either of these are you then I apologize and will be calling you soon, I haven't thrown you by the wayside.

As for Love I must settle for what I've always settled for: hope for the best but expect the worst, that way either way I'm not disappointed.

So why the constant disappointment?

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