brandon_scott (brandon_scott) wrote,

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The Musings of Just Another Man

I'm reminded of a conversation Kristi and I had a while ago when I was feeling down. The basis of it was that if I'm not happy with myself now I'll never be happy with what I have because I'll always want more. After the apartment I'll want the house. After the car I'll want a bigger car. After the Bachelor's I'll want the Master's.

She was kind of right, but not in the way that she meant. Yes, I'll always want more, but isn't that the goal? To continually try to improve yourself? Mentally and physically; to work on character flaws and personality traits. The way I see it, there's two types of time: productive time and wasted time. You have to work to better yourself otherwise you'll fall to the law of entropy. Now don't get me wrong, I'm no work-aholic. Recreational time can be productive. Any farmer will tell you about the importance of field rotation--that you'll get more bountiful crops if you let the fields rest. Recreation is exactly that, a time to re-create. To step back, take a moment to breath so that you can collect your thoughts, focus your energy, and rest so that you may tackle the next obstacle with vigor.

But busying yourself doesn't take your mind off of the problems. I laugh and smile around people, coworkers, friends. But sometimes it breaks out and I randomly start crying. So much negativity in the world. I try to be a beacon for those around me. Opening a door, a simple smile, helping carry something, or just listening. I can't change the world. But I can't drown in it either.

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